Healthy boundaries start with you

There was a time when my boss was impossible to please. There weren’t any healthy boundaries between her, work, and me.

She didn’t like that I had lunch that took over 30 minutes a day and didn’t like that I took more than two weeks off in a year of vacation.

I had to check my email during that vacation and stay on top. And even then, she didn’t think my results were up to my best effort regularly and made sure I was aware of that.

Why did I stay? The boss was me!

“My boss,” said this when I started my first business. My standards were too high. I worked at an unsustainable pace and didn’t take the time to rest required to create new ideas, perspectives, etc.

I thought this drive was going to help me thrive. But instead, it kept me tired, stuck, and without the bandwidth to create new ideas. There were no healthy boundaries, which truly affected my ability to grow in my business and personal life.

I fired my boss for not having healthy boundaries

So what did I do? I fired my boss for not having healthy boundaries.

I replaced her with a boss who understood that “task” time needed balance with thinking time, rest was necessary for creativity, and working harder isn’t always the most intelligent method. I am valuable even when I’m not hustling to prove my worth.

Was I always successful? No. These were some hard-wired beliefs that I carried with me.

Like setting or resetting boundaries with a boss at work, I had to work hard to reset expectations with myself. Over time, with work and reflection, I noticed when these limiting beliefs and behaviors showed up. Then I could interrupt the automatic behaviors and choose a different response.

It didn’t happen overnight.

However, over time the automatic thoughts and behaviors lessened as the new thoughts and patterns became dominant. Nevertheless, there are still days that I will get triggered into hustling. Some fear will usually trigger me into this behavior.

It’s not as often now, and I like my boss much more.

Need help setting boundaries with yourself? I work with clients to help identify and shift any limiting beliefs or patterns of behavior. Let’s connect today!